Author: system

父母要如何表達對小朋友的愛？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：親職教育專家Ken Sir

有些媽媽會經常問我：「我應該怎樣表達我對小朋友的愛？會否因為我表達得太多而造成溺愛？」，我覺得其實中國人較為內斂，對愛的表現，很多時候都不敢說出來。尤其是你本來想表達你很緊張他，但就變成另一種態度。

有次我在沙田見到一個媽媽和她的小朋友走失了，然後再重聚，重聚後媽媽的表現是怎樣呢？就是捉著他的手打他，一邊打一邊説：「我剛剛見不到你，你知不知道我很害怕。我很擔心你，見不到你怎麽辦呀？」

其實大家都知道媽媽是愛他的，但小朋友就感受不到。我經常在講座分享一個例子去表達愛，就是在我小時候爸爸叫了一杯飲料，因為當時錢不多，當叫完一杯熱飲後就問侍應多拿一個杯子。在我面前不停把飲料倒來倒去，想盡快把飲料弄涼，讓小朋友喝的時候不會燙傷嘴巴，而且可以快點喝得到，但我發現如果當小朋友問父母的時候或我問過很多學生的父母，他們都是會答：「這樣會快點變涼。」

家長在回應小朋友時應該表達最深的層次，就是因為我愛你，我不愛你我怎麽會做這事情呢？難道我為旁邊那個做？為旁邊的小朋友做嗎？所以其實我們在生活上很多事情可以表達愛，但有一種事一定要記住，如果你害怕造成溺愛，一定要切記以下兩點。

第一點小朋友可以做到的事，應該要讓他做，你不應該爭著做。第二點就是小朋友犯錯，我們要指正他。在指正的過程中，盡量用到溫柔而堅定，需要嚴肅的時候要嚴肅。但要提醒小朋友記著要説上解決方法，而不是只說NO，只說不對。這樣的話，小朋友是不會進步的。

Parents Zone

Nurturing children’s interest in reading

Post author By system
Post date 09/01/2023
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Parenting Tips

system

Written by : New Horizons Development Centre
Registered Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah

A hundred years ago, illiteracy was a normal thing. But since education became widespread decades ago, it is now necessary to go to school to receive an education. Learning is not only through the direct transmission of knowledge by teachers through language, students also need to read textbooks by themselves. When doing homework or taking exams, students are tested on their concentration and speed when reading.

More than 30 years ago, the basic qualification for firefighters was graduation from the sixth grade, but today, even college graduates may not be able to get into firefighting. Modern fires do not only require firefighters to be physically fit and able to put out fires with water, but some fires are very complex and require special methods and chemicals to put out.

Reading skills are needed in all walks of life
Whether they are blue-collar or white-collar workers, they need to handle documents and files, read other people’s reports or instructions, and write their own reports. So the need to read and handle paperwork is everywhere. In the past, illiterate people could withdraw money from banks, but with modern ATMs, not only can we withdraw money, but we can also pay different fees, but our concentration and speed in reading is very much tested.

When we are adults, we have to sign many contracts, and there are many clauses in the contract, and the font size is small but quantity is large, it is also a big test of reading. Modern people often have to search for information on the Internet, which also requires the ability to read, that is, the ability to visually search for symbolic words and speed.

Nurturing children’s interest in reading
Cultivate children’s interest in reading and develop good habits. Although reading books is fine, reading newspapers is a good habit that everyone must develop, whether they are civilians or presidents and professors, they need to read newspapers regularly because this is the only way to keep up with the information of the society, to understand the changes around the world, and to master the liberal thinking.

Although there is now a very convenient TV news, as if they do not need to read, listening to TV news seems more convenient. But in fact, in addition to reading newspapers to learn the news and current events, more continuous training of the ability to deal with words and reading newspapers can be carried out at anytime and anywhere, newspapers can be said to be the textbook of the Society in general. This is everyone “to do old, learn until old,” the rule of thumb.

培養孩子的閱讀興趣

家長錦囊

system

撰文：新領域潛能發展中心　註冊教育心理學家彭智華

在百多年前，文盲是很正常的事。但自從數十年前教育開始普及，時至今日，到學校接受教育是必須的，學習除了通過教師以語言直接傳授知識外，學生還需要自己閱讀教科書，在做功課或考試時，更考驗學生閱讀時的專注力及速度。

三十年多前，投考消防員的基本資格是小學六年級畢業便可，而今時今日，大學畢業生也未必能考到消防員。現代的火災已不單是要求消防員體能好，簡單用水便可灌救熄滅，因為有些火警的起因很複雜，要用特別的方法及化學物才可撲滅。

各行各業都需要閱讀能力

不論是藍領或是白領，都需要處理文件檔案，需要閱讀別人的報告或說明書，更需要自己書寫報告，所以閱讀及處理文書的需要可說是無處不在。以前文盲可以到銀行提款，但現代的自動提款機，我們不單可以提款，還可以繳交不同的費用，但就非常考驗我們閱讀的專注力及速度。

當我們成年後有很多簽訂合約的時候，而且合約有很多條文，字體又小數量又多，也是閱讀的一大考驗。現代人經常要在網上搜尋資料，也需要閱讀的能力，就是視覺搜尋符號文字的能力及速度。

培養子女的閱讀興趣

培養子女的閱讀興趣，並培養成為良好的習慣。雖然閱讀圖書也可以，但閱讀報紙是每個人必須養成的良好習慣，不論是平民百姓，還是總統教授，都需要定時閱讀報紙，因為只有這個方法才可以保持與社會的資訊同步，了解世界各地的變動，掌握通識思維。

雖然現時有很方便的電視新聞，好像不需要自己閱讀，聽電視新聞似乎更方便。但實際上閱讀報紙除了得知新聞時事，更能不斷鍛鍊處理文字的能力，而且閱讀報紙可以隨時隨地進行，報紙可說是社會大學的教科書，是每個人「做到老，學到老」的不二法則。

Three steps to teach children to eat on their own

Post author By system
Post date 12/12/2022
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Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Senior Parenting Specialist,Bally

When children go to school, they have to eat on their own. It is not an easy challenge to teach children to eat well, as they have to eat attentively and refrain from playing with food. In fact, parents only need three steps to teach their children to eat on their own.

First, parents need to teach their children to eat on their own. Parents are frequently anxious for their children to finish their meals quickly, fearing that they will not eat and will have to be fed by their parents. In fact, starting at 6 months of age, children should get used to using their own hands to put food in their mouths, with parents only assisting them.

Parents should let their children pick up the utensils and eat by themselves so that they do not just get fed but also get a sense of participation and motivation to eat.

Second, help children with hand-eye coordination. Sometimes children may not be able to hold the utensils properly because of their own hand-eye coordination issues and may be angry and not eat. Parents can use words to remind children how to move the utensils backwards and forwards, or they can train children’s coordination skills on a daily basis so that they can cope with the challenges of eating on their own and reduce the difficulties they encounter.

Third, give praise and encouragement. Children will inevitably encounter difficulties and frustrations when learning to eat. If parents keep scolding, “Why is it so messy?” “Why do you eat so slowly?” Naturally, children will not be able to enjoy food and will not eat on their own initiative for fear of being scolded when they see food.

If parents provide encouragement at this time and praise their children when they do, they will continue to be courageous and overcome the frustration of learning to eat. Parents should also remember that when children are eating on their own, don’t clean up after them, as this will prevent them from trying to eat on their own.

In addition, parents often misunderstand that their children do not eat. In fact, children just don’t like certain dishes, and if parents force them to eat, it forms a vicious cycle.

教導小朋友自己進食三步曲

家長錦囊

system

撰文：資深親職教育專家Bally

小朋友上學後，便要自己進食。但要教好小朋友吃飯，絕對是一個不容易的挑戰，既要他們吃得專心，又要防止他們玩食物。其實父母只需3步就可以教導小朋友自律的進食。

第一，父母需要教小朋友自己進食。很多時候家長都會很心急，想子女快點吃完飯，怕他不吃飯，導致變成家長餵食。其實由6個月開始，便應該要讓小朋友習慣用自己手，將食物放進口裡，家長只是在旁輔助他。

家長讓小朋友自己拿起餐具進食，讓孩子在進食時不是一味地被餵食，而是能夠從中獲得參與感，從而令他們有動力進食。

第二，協助小朋友手眼協調。有時間小朋友會因自己手眼不協調，無法拿好餐具而賭氣不吃飯。家長可用說話提醒小朋友如何前後左右移動餐具，另外亦可在日常中訓練小朋友的協調能力，讓他們能夠自己應付進食時的挑戰，減少他們遇到的困難。

第三，給予讚賞鼓勵。小朋友在學習進食時難免會遇到困難和挫折，若家長不斷指責「點解食到周圍都係？」「點解咁污糟？」「點解食得咁慢？」小朋友自然無法享受食物，見到食物便會害怕被責罵，便不會主動自己食飯。

如果家長在這時間給予鼓勵，並在孩子做到時稱讚他們，就能令他們繼續勇於嘗試，完服學習進食時的挫折。家長亦要謹記小朋友自己吃飯時，不要一邊清潔，這會阻礙小朋友自己嘗試吃飯。

另外，家長很多時候會誤以為小朋友不吃飯，是因為某碟菜式他不喜歡吃，然後強逼他進食，形成惡性循環。

千萬種謊言逃避做功課家長如何是好？

家長錦囊

system

撰文：家庭動力心理輔導員賴舜薇

小朋友每次做功課，都訛稱自己肚痛、要上洗手間或想睡覺，千萬種謊言與藉口。重視品格培養的家長自然會感到嬲怒，因為他們對子女不誠實的行為都是零容忍的。但為甚麼孩子總是逃避做功課？為甚麼他們又要以謊言去掩飾呢？

小朋友逃避做功課，很多時不是他們不願意做，而是做不到。小朋友都會希望自己又乖巧又聰明，但當他們發現自己做不到功課，便會認為自己不夠聰明。他無法接受，便會以說謊來掩飾和逃避。一般而言，智力正常但有學習障礙的小朋友，他們的學業表現都會受到一定程度的影響，但在其他方面，他們一樣可以表現出色。而且不論他們智力水平高低，只要使用對的方法，加上適量訓練，他們亦能建立相應能力。

但人為甚麼會說謊呢？當一個人覺得自己處於不安的環境時，便會啟動防衛機制保護自己。而說謊便是其中一種以逃避方式來應對危機的表現。如果家長希望幫到子女，便要讓他勇於說真話，這樣家長才能理解子女真正不明白的地方。

如何令子女勇於說真說話？你要讓子女知道，即使他不夠聰明，你依然會這麼愛她，以他為喜樂，對他有耐性，並且會一起想辦法協助他解決困難，從而建立他的安全感，讓他安心透露內心的不明白與困難。但相反，若其經驗令他認為因他不夠聰明，會引來媽媽對他發脾氣及埋怨，他便不敢說真話，甚至啟動自我保護機制，用大人一看便能拆穿的謊言保護自己。

這時候孩子不但無法保護自己，更會惹來更大的麻煩，因為媽媽會更生氣，便會主動認錯，又會承諾不再說謊。惟事實上，他功課的困難並未解決，形成造成惡性循環。因此，我們鼓勵家長學習接納子女的不足，令子女對你有信心，覺得安全，自然對你敞開心扉。

Thousands of lies to avoid doing homework. What should parents do?

Post author By system
Post date 05/12/2022
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Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Family Dynamics, Psychological Counselor, Lai Shun Mei

Every time a child does homework, he or she falsely claims to have a stomachache, to go to the bathroom, or to go to sleep—thousands of lies and excuses. Parents who value character development are naturally outraged because they have zero tolerance for dishonesty in their children. But why do children always avoid doing their homework? Why do they have to lie to cover it up?

Often, children avoid doing homework not because they don’t want to, but because they can’t. Children want to be good and smart, but when they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. When they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. They can’t accept this and will lie to cover it up and avoid it. Generally speaking, children with normal intelligence but learning disabilities will have their academic performance affected to some degree, but they can perform well in other areas as well. Regardless of their intelligence level, with the right approach and the right amount of training, they will be able to develop the appropriate skills.

But why do people tell lies? When a person feels that he or she is in an uncomfortable situation, he or she will activate the defense mechanism to protect himself or herself. Lying is one of the ways to escape a crisis. If parents want to help their children, they need to give them the courage to tell the truth so that they can understand what their children really don’t understand.

How do you get your child to be brave enough to tell the truth? You need to let your child know that even if he or she is not smart enough, you will still love him or her so much, take pleasure in him or her, be patient with him or her, and work together to help him or her solve their problems, thus building his or her sense of security and giving him or her the peace of mind to reveal his or her innermost doubts and difficulties. But on the contrary, if his experience makes him think that he is not smart enough, which will lead to his mother’s anger and complaints, he will not dare to tell the truth and even activate his self-protection mechanism to protect himself with lies that adults can uncover at first glance.

Not only will the child be unable to protect himself, but he will also get into more trouble because the mother will be rehabilitated and will admit her fault and promise not to lie fore, we encourage parents to learn to accept their children’s shortcomings so that they will have confidence in you and feel safe to open up to you.

Eye rubbing too much. What to do if eye inflammation?

Post author By system
Post date 14/11/2022
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家長錦囊

system

Written by : Dr Cheung Kit

Every child has his or her own characteristics. As a parent, you may not be able to tell what your child is trying to express by their expressions, behaviors and vocalizations. Take the example of a child’s reaction to dozing, the form of expression varies from person to person.Some may cry, some may lose their temper, some may rub their eyes, or a variety of other reactions. Among the many reactions, in my position as a doctor, the most unwanted habit is “rubbing eyes” because this will easily cause inflammation.

Eye inflammation is not caused by unclean hands？

Interestingly, the inflammation was not due to the child’s unclean hands, but to other causes. In this case, the inflammation was not initially caused by bacteria, but by a blockage of the secretory glands near the eyelashes. When the hand rubs against the eye, the originally open ventral outlet is disrupted by the external pressure, causing pressure in the gland as the oil cannot be expelled, which then causes an inflammatory reaction. This inflammatory reaction is superficially the same as a normal bacterial inflammation. The difference is that in this case, antibiotics (topical and oral) are not effective. The correct method is to do warm compresses for your eyes, which is intended to open the blocked outlet and make the inflammation disappear slowly.

How to treat eye acne？

To treat an existing eye acne, besides seeing a doctor, the most basic method is to

do warm compresses as described above. Choose a reheatable heat pack or use a lightly heated towel. Do warm compresses for 5 minutes, 3 times a day. The need for antibiotics is at the discretion of the doctor. However, the following principles apply.

– Whether the inflammation of the eye acne exceeds the normal case

– Is there any bacterial inflammation of the conjunctiva?

– Is the tissue around the eye red and painful?

– Whether the child is able to control his or her own eye rubbing to reduce the possibility of bacterial inflammation

Early treatment of ophthalmia

If the inflammation is not controlled, the swelling may not disappear on its own. In this case, surgical release of the swelling is a must. Although it may sound scary, the procedure is actually a simple one and only requires local anaesthesia. Therefore, parents only need to follow the doctor’s advice and they can rest assured.

All in all, our biggest fear is not that our children’s hands are dirty, but that they keep rubbing eyes. If the eye infection is caused by nasal allergy, eye allergy and eczema, parents must take it seriously. Parents should feel free to use medication when they want to, without having to worry about how long it will take and the side effects that may occur.

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捽眼捽唔停眼發炎點做好？

家長錦囊

system

撰文：張傑醫生

每個孩子都有自己的特性。作為父母未必能夠從他們的表情、行為和發聲便知道孩子想表達的東西。就以孩子打瞌睡的反應，每個人的表達形式也有不同，有的人會大哭；有的人會發脾氣；有的人會揉眼睛，或是其他各種各樣的反應。在眾多的反應中，在筆者醫生的立場，最不要得的習慣是「捽眼」。因為這很容易會引起發炎的情況。

眼睛發炎非雙手不潔淨所導致？

有趣的是，發炎不是因為孩子雙手不潔淨，而是其他原因。原來，在這情況下，發炎起初不是因為細菌的引起，而是因為眼睫毛附近的分泌腺體阻塞所致。在手部摩擦眼睛時，原本暢通的腹體出口會被外來的壓力所破壞，令油脂因不能夠被排出而在腺體內造成壓力，繼而引起發炎反應。這種發炎反應的表面上與一般細菌性發炎無異。而分別在於在這情況下，用上抗生素（外塗和口服）都沒有作用。而較正確的方法是使用熱敷，目的是讓熱量加通阻塞的出口，令炎症慢慢消失。

如何治療眼瘡？

要治療已出現的眼瘡，除了看醫生外，最基本的方法是，如上述，可用熱敷。選擇可重複加熱的熱敷包或使用微熱的毛巾。每天分 3 次，按敷 5 分鐘。至於會否需要使用抗生素，醫生會自行判斷。但是一般基於以下幾個原則：

眼瘡的發炎程度會否超越一般的個案
結膜有否相關細菌發炎的情況
眼周圍組織有否紅腫和疼痛
孩子能否控制自己擦眼睛，以減少細菌發炎的可能

患上眼炎應及早醫治

倘若控制不了發炎的情況，腫粒可能未能自行消失。這時候，手術式放腫是必須的做法。聽起來，雖然有點恐怖，但是其實過程只是很簡單的步驟，而且只需要局部麻醉。所以，父母只需跟從醫生的建議便可以放心。

說到尾，我們最怕不是孩子的雙手骯髒，而是怕他們不停揉的動作。如果是因為鼻敏感、眼敏感和濕疹引起眼炎的話，父母必須正視。家長要用藥時就放膽用藥，不必拘泥於用藥多久及未必會出現的副作用。

Three characteristics to let you know whether you are a “monster parent”?

Post author By system
Post date 07/11/2022
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Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Director of the Hong Kong Institute of Family Education Dr. Tik Chi-yuen

Although parenting is a natural duty, it is not “inborn to take duty”. Previously, I discussed with senior government officials the current difficulties of parents and how to effectively promote parent education.During the discussion, we all felt that parent education should be strengthened because parents are becoming more and more “monsterized”, resulting in high pressure on parents and heavy burden on children.

If parents want to determine whether they are “monster parents”, they can assess in three aspects.

First，are you always worried about your child losing at the starting line, so you ask your child to learn more and practice more?
Second, do you often worry about your children doing wrong, afraid that they face failure, so give children a variety of protection?
Third, do you often feel stressed by your children’s studies and daily life, worrying that your children will not do well in everything, so you are emotionally disturbed?

One of the problems with “monster parents” is that they focus too much on their children’s performance, especially in terms of academics and grades. In fact, there are more important things we should be concerned about, and that is the parent-child relationship. Parents and children are meant to have a mutual emotional relationship, not a ministry relationship. In the family, we talk more about love and affection rather than dictations, tests, and exams. Having a good parent-child relationship is the cornerstone of healthy growth for our children.