The most important thing in teaching children is values

Parenting Tips

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Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan

In recent years, news of parent-child tragedies has become increasingly common. The root cause lies in severe deviations in parent-child relationships, familial bonds, and individual roles in family responsibilities. This results in resentment, blame-shifting, and an inability to combat negative thoughts, sometimes leading to the desire to harm others as a form of self-relief.

Guiding Children on the Right Path Through Parental Values

Although parents may feel heartbroken, they cannot turn back time to rebuild affectionate relationships with their children or restore the value of familial bonds. People do not have the choice to select their parents, so they must cherish the relationships they have. However, parents can seize the present moment to let their children know that they are the most selfless people in the world, allowing them to feel the warmth and tenderness of their parents. Since we never know when we might no longer be by our children’s side, the only things that can help them make judgments, prevent them from going astray, and resist negative temptations are the values and parent-child relationships taught by their parents. Children must understand that regardless of whether family life is smooth or challenging, it is a gift and a form of training. Through this training, people become stronger, making it an invaluable element of growth.

When we witness the tragedies of other families and individuals, it serves as a warning to resolutely avoid following the same path. At the same time, parents should realize that when they pass away, the only things they leave behind for their descendants are a lifetime of wisdom, culture, and the character they have instilled in their children. At this moment, what do parents expect from their children? I hope: “Just be a good person.” Storytelling education is a way to impart important values to children, facilitate communication, and build parent-child relationships.

Small,Gift,Donate,For,Social,Issue,Relief,Alms,Unity,Care

The value of familial affection lies in accumulating intimacy from a young age. 

Parents must strive to build intimacy with their children from an early age. The following example demonstrates how a mother can meet her child’s need for security, highlighting the importance of building intimacy and empathy:

One day, a 2-year-old baby suddenly raised their hands and stood on tiptoe, seemingly craving adult affection. We often refer to this behavior as “acting spoiled.” However, the father said, “Hold the baby? Okay, stand properly for Daddy to see first.” At this moment, the baby turned to the mother, raised their hands again, and stood on tiptoe, showing a strong desire for care. The mother immediately embraced the baby and said touching and selfless words to the father: “Ah, the love of Mommy and Daddy is not something the baby needs to beg for; love is always there, and we don’t have many days to be this close. Let the baby feel our love.” This story allows everyone to savor the value, role, and response of being a parent.

Additionally, I have several tips for promoting parent-child relationships and story education to share:

  1. Let your children understand your values, viewpoints, and response methods through your actions.
  2. Do not make your children fear your calls or feel annoyed, including only testing or completing tasks you assign.
  3. Parental instruction methods should only be used in situations that endanger health or life; otherwise, just warn of the consequences and respond calmly to the child’s anger and pain after they face the consequences.
  4. When children proactively share things, encourage them to express their viewpoints, hypothesize by taking on another role, and analyze emotions and thoughts to increase empathy.
  5. Create more opportunities for shared learning and topics, allowing you and your children to have similar feelings and experiences.
  6. If a child’s response in a story shows a deviation in values, such as tendencies toward violence or revenge, express that this makes you sad and guide the child to think of reasonable solutions or the benefits of letting go of the issue.

In summary, everyone has emotional and psychological needs for satisfaction. To help children grow in a balanced way emotionally and cognitively, parents must cultivate themselves to manage their families. Parents need to have the ability to judge and understand the entire value of their child’s life: happiness and contribution. Only then can children inherit and spread the mission of love through your example and teachings.

教兒最重要是價值觀

家長錦囊

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Young,Asian,Family,Sitting,On,The,Floor

撰文:資深幼兒教育顧問莫萊茵小姐

近年親子悲劇的新聞屢見不鮮,根本原因在於親子關係、家庭成員血脈相連的親情和個人在家庭責任的角色上,出現嚴重偏差。結果令怨恨、推卸出現,更無力對抗負面意識,甚至想透過傷害他人而令自己得到解脫。

孩子走上正路 依靠父母灌輸價值觀

父母雖然心痛,但始終沒有辦法回到過去,重新與子女建立親愛情感,修補重視家人血脈相連關係的價值。人亦無選擇父母的機會,只有珍惜緣分。但是,父母可以把握現在,讓孩子知道你是世上最無私的,好好讓他們感受到父母的溫柔和溫暖。因為我們不知道何時不在孩子身旁,能夠幫助他判斷的、預防孩子行差踏錯、抵禦負面誘惑的,只有父母平日教導他的價值觀和親子關係。為人子女的,要明白不論家庭生活順逆,都是一種恩賜與鍛煉。人在鍛煉中會變得更精壯,是無比珍貴的成長元素。

當我們看到其他家庭和別人人生的悲劇,警剔我們堅決不走他們同樣的路。同時,若父母了解到當自己離世時,就只有一生的智慧、文化和為子女建立了的品格留給子孫。此刻,家長們對子女有甚麼期望呢?筆者願:「只要當一個好人。」而故事教育就是帶給孩子重要的價值觀和交流、建立親子關係的好途徑。

Small,Gift,Donate,For,Social,Issue,Relief,Alms,Unity,Care

親情可貴 自小累積親密感

父母必須努力從孩子小時候便累積親密感,以下的媽媽能把握孩子對安全感的需要,示範了建立親密感和同理心的重點:
一天, 2 歲的寶寶突然舉起雙手,腳指蹺起,似乎非常渴望有成人的愛護。我們一般說這行為是「撒嬌」,可是爸爸說:「抱BB啊,好吧,先站好比爸爸看。」此刻,寶寶轉向媽媽身旁,再次舉起雙手,腳指蹺起,露出非常渴望呵護的神情,媽媽便立即把寶寶抱入懷,並說出感人和無私的說話讓爸爸知道:「啊,爸爸媽媽的愛是不需要小寶寶乞求的、愛是任何時候都有的,而且我們沒有太多日子能夠如此親密,就讓小寶寶感受我們的愛吧。」以上的故事讓大家細味為人父母之價值、角色和回應。

另外,筆者有數個促進親子關係和故事教育的小貼士跟大家分享:

  1. 讓孩子從你的行為中了解你對事情的價值觀、觀點和回應方法
  2. 不要讓孩子害怕你叫他,或使他感到煩擾,包括每次只有考驗或完成你指派的任務
  3. 家長式訓示方法只適用於危及健康或生命的情況,否則只需要提出預告後果,讓孩子碰釘後,以平常反應回應孩子的憤怒和痛楚
  4. 當孩子主動告訴事情時,要多引發他說出觀點,提出假設代入另一個角色,分析情感和想法,以增加同理心
  5. 多製造共同學習機會和話題,讓你與孩子有相同感受及經驗
  6. 如孩子投入在故事中的回答有價值觀的偏差,如暴力、復仇等傾向,需要表明爸媽為此而感到傷心,然後要引導孩子想出合情理的解決方法或放下事情的好處

總結而言,每人都有感情和心理滿足的需要,要讓孩子從感情與認知中平衡成長,父母必須修身方能齊家,父母本身要有判辨的能力,並懂得孩子整個人生的價值:是福樂與貢獻,孩子才能在你的身教和言教下,承傳及散播愛的使命。

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Chronic cough? Bronchitis? Or Asthma?

Parenting Tips

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Portrait,Of,Asian,Little,Boy,Wear,Healthcare,Mask,And,Cough.

Written by:Cheng Sui Man

The children can’t stop coughing, often continuing for an entire month, especially severe in the middle of the night, waking up from coughing, leading to insomnia, and then falling asleep from extreme fatigue. This is torturous for both children and adults! What exactly causes this persistent coughing? Is it sensitivity or inflammation of the trachea? Upon consulting a doctor, it turns out this is also a form of asthma!

Children are naturally more prone to having narrower airways due to their young age, making them more susceptible to nasal congestion, snoring, and even shortness of breath even with just a common cold. However, unlike bronchitis, a common cold usually recovers within a week, but the cough from bronchitis can last over twenty days, so it’s not surprising that the coughing continues for a month from the onset of the illness.

This leads to another question: Why does bronchitis occur? According to doctors, one common cause is the child contracting the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is a very common virus that spreads through droplets and air. It causes the airways to constrict and become inflamed, producing mucus that accumulates and further narrows the airways, stimulating the patient to cough and creating a vicious cycle. Doctors indicate that in these cases, bronchodilator medication may be prescribed to reduce symptoms and allow the child’s immune system to fight off the virus. However, once a child has been infected with RSV, the airways are somewhat damaged, increasing the likelihood of developing asthma in the future. As the doctor explained, my eldest son had indeed been hospitalized due to RSV infection in the past, and since then, every time he catches a cold and coughs, his recovery time is longer than that of my younger son!

Nurse,Treat,Admitted,Patient,Boy,By,Inhalation,Therapy,With,Mask

“So it seems your eldest son might indeed have asthma,” the doctor’s conclusion was definitely the last thing I wanted to hear. Asthma, in its worst case, can be fatal! Wait, that’s the worst-case scenario. The doctor added that asthma is actually classified into four stages.

Stage 1: Intermittent Asthma
Usually caused by respiratory viruses such as RSV or filtrable viruses, occurring sporadically a few times a year, with normal conditions the rest of the time. Therefore, it is only necessary to use a bronchodilator during episodes of airway constriction and shortness of breath to relieve discomfort without significant side effects, and there is no need for long-term medication.

However, if the airway constriction is not properly relieved, the airways can become increasingly prone to narrowing, and the asthma could progress.

Stage 2: Mild Persistent Asthma
Patients have episodes about once or twice a month, and bronchodilators are insufficient to manage the condition. Inhaled steroids are needed to “treat the root cause” and control inflammation. Inhaled steroids come in different strengths, and the doctor will prescribe the appropriate dosage as needed.

Stage 3: Moderate Persistent Asthma
Patients have asthma attacks on average once a week and need to use a bronchodilator daily.

Asian,Children,Patient,Learning,To,Use,Inhaler,Medicine,In,Hospital,

Stage 4: Severe Persistent Asthma
Patients need to use a bronchodilator daily, three to four times a day, while also using inhaled steroids to control the condition.

Following the doctor’s advice, I should no longer be afraid to let my child use inhaled bronchodilators! Relieving the child’s coughing and asthma symptoms early on can also hopefully prevent the worsening of asthma conditions in the long run.

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家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地 家長園地

久咳?支氣管發炎?還是哮喘?

家長錦囊

Portrait,Of,Asian,Little,Boy,Wear,Healthcare,Mask,And,Cough.

撰文:鄭萃雯

小朋友咳不停,咳嗽情況往往持續整整一個月,尤其到半夜三更最嚴重,咳醒、咳至失眠,再倦極睡著,對小朋友、大人,都是折磨!到底為何久咳不止? 氣管敏感還是發炎? 請教醫生,原來這也屬於哮喘!

孩子年紀小,氣管自然會比較幼、比較窄,就算只是普通傷風感冒,亦較容易有鼻塞、鼻鼾,甚至氣促的情況。不過和支氣管炎不同的,普通傷風感冒大約一星期內會康復,但支氣管炎的咳嗽持續時間可以長達二十多日,所以由發病起持續咳嗽一個月,絕對不足為奇。

這又引申另一個問題:為何會有支氣管炎?醫生說,其中一個常見的原因是孩子感染呼吸道合胞體病毒(RSV)。這是一種非常常見的病毒,經飛沫及空氣傳播。它會令氣管收縮、發炎,並產生痰涎,痰涎積聚又令氣道進一步狹窄,刺激患者咳嗽,造成惡性循環。醫生指,這些情況可能會處方氣管擴張藥,讓小朋友病徵減退,靠自身的免疫力擊退病毒,不過小朋友一旦試過感染RSV,氣管某程度上亦受過破壞,日後演變成哮喘的機會亦增加。經醫生這樣一說,我的大兒子過往的確因感染RSV入院,而之後每次感冒咳嗽,所需的康復時間均比小兒子長啊!

Nurse,Treat,Admitted,Patient,Boy,By,Inhalation,Therapy,With,Mask

「那麼你的大兒子應該是有哮喘了。」醫生這一句結論,絕對是我最不想聽到的。哮喘,最壞的可致死亡啊!等一等,這是最壞情況。醫生補充,哮喘其實分為四級。

第一級 偶發性哮喘
通常因為感染呼吸道病毒,例如RSV或過濾性病毒引起,一年中偶發幾次,其餘時間正常。所以只要在氣管收縮、氣促時候使用氣管舒張劑紓緩不適,無甚副作用,亦毋須長期用藥。

不過如果無適當紓緩氣管收縮問題,氣管會越來越容易收窄,哮喘有可能升級。

第二級 輕微持續性哮喘
患者大約一個月會發病一至兩次,氣管舒張劑不足以處理,需要以吸入式類固醇「治本」,控制發炎情況。吸入式類固醇有分不同的度數,醫生會按情況,處方不用劑量,有需要時使用。

第三級 中度持續性哮喘
患者平均每星期哮喘發作一次,每日需要使用氣管舒張劑。

Asian,Children,Patient,Learning,To,Use,Inhaler,Medicine,In,Hospital,

第四級 嚴重持續性哮喘
患者每天都要使用氣管舒張劑,每日三至四次,同時要使用吸入式類固醇控制病情。

經醫生提醒,我以後不應再害怕讓小朋友使用吸入式氣管舒張劑了!及早紓緩孩子咳嗽氣喘,長遠亦希望可以避免哮喘情況惡化。

Finnish Students Learn Home Economics in the “kitchen classrooms”

Parenting Tips

Happy,Asian,Kids,Are,Preparing,The,Dough,,Bake,Cookies,In

Written by: Mr. Kwan Hin-Pan, Director of Curriculum and Training at the Financial Quotient Education Academy

Cooking, housekeeping, financial management—would you let your child take such classes? Learning to cook? Learning to do household chores? Learning economic management? What exactly are these courses? It turns out that these are the three main themes of the “Home Economics” class that starts from elementary to middle school in Finnish education, where we deeply understand the educational philosophy of Finland, which is to insist on letting students learn abstract theoretical concepts in experiential settings, truly learning by doing. What important insights does this provide for parents and students in Hong Kong?

Actually, this course is not directly related to economics; it is originally a life education course aimed at letting children master the daily life skills of cooking, doing household chores, and managing family finances. Mastering these skills not only teaches them to live independently but also helps sustain the environment.

The first skill is “learning to cook,” which includes cooking and baking. Students not only learn the knowledge and skills of food preparation and baking, such as preparing ingredients, understanding recipes, identifying the nutritional components of food, and using an oven to cook; they also learn about food culture, such as food safety, the food chain, dietary culture and religion, and how to properly set tableware, napkins, and cups. In practical operations, they gradually learn food knowledge and dietary culture. Surprisingly, doing this small thing has become a venue for Finns to cultivate students’ creativity and imagination.

To provide students with a real learning environment, every school has a “kitchen classroom.” In the morning, the first and second periods are not academic theory classes, but cooking instead. The food prepared in class is what they eat for lunch that day, which is very interesting.

Group,Of,Diverse,Student,Chef,Learning,Cooking,Class,In,The

For example, a pair of parents have five children. From the age of 10, they discuss with their children their own wages, how much money is needed to buy food, how much it costs to send their younger siblings to kindergarten, and how much money is left for hobbies. This way, the children can fully understand the structure of family consumption.

School teachers also teach students how advertisements can influence their shopping and how to better use the internet to be a rational consumer, to avoid being deceived by advertisements and buying things they do not need.

Finally, as family consumers, students start to understand a family’s income, budget, and expenses from junior high school, which is beneficial in guiding them to use money correctly and develop financial and savings skills. At the same time, learning how to buy items that are both practically valuable and aesthetically designed with appropriate money is a very practical course that can make life sustainable.

Finnish students can go from “kitchen classrooms” to home economics classes, allowing them to personally experience, understand, and master cooking, housekeeping, and family financial management. Through the learning process, they fully acquire life instincts and self-management skills, enabling comprehensive development in their lives.

What important insights does this provide for parents and students in Hong Kong?

Cute,Happy,Little,Child,Earn,His,First,Money,By,Doing

The second life skill is “doing household chores.” The home economics class is not just about teaching children to do housework; it is also about cultivating sustainable living habits through these chores. Under the influence of this class, children develop the habit of promptly cleaning kitchenware, using the dishwasher to wash the family’s dishes, and knowing how to hand wash dishes in a water-saving manner; they also possess environmental awareness, understanding the importance of cherishing food and waste sorting; at the same time, they can read the washing instructions on clothes and use the washing machine more effectively.

The third life skill is “managing household finances.” This skill is profoundly meaningful: through these deeply involved household activities, children gain a comprehensive understanding of the structure of family consumption, how to plan, allocate, and arrange family life with limited money, instilling in them from a young age a sense of consumer awareness and financial management ability, thereby cultivating their financial intelligence.

It turns out that Finnish parents give their children an “allowance” every month, with some families distributing it weekly. If they take good care of their younger siblings or actively clean the house, they can also earn money.

芬蘭學生從「廚房教室」學習家庭經濟課

家長錦囊

芬蘭學生從「廚房教室」學習家庭經濟課

撰文:財商教育協會課程及培訓總監關顯彬先生

烹飪、家事、理財,你敢讓孩子上這樣的課嗎?學煮飯? 學做家事? 學經濟理財? 究竟這是甚麼課程? 原來這是芬蘭教育高小至初中開始「家庭經濟課」的三大主題了,當中讓我們深刻認識到芬蘭的教育理念,那就是堅持讓學生在體驗式場景中學習抽象的理論概念,讓學生真正從「做中學」。 這對香港的家長和學生有甚什麼重要的啟示 ?

其實這門課跟經濟學沒有直接關係,它本來是一門生活教育課,目的是讓孩子從中掌握做飯、做家事、家庭理財這三方面日常生活技能,學好這些技能,一方面讓自己學會獨立生活,另一方面能夠使環境永續化。

第一項技能先是「學煮飯」,分烹調和烘焙兩類。 學生不僅要學習食物烹飪、烘焙的知識和技能,如準備食材、讀懂食譜、識別食物的營養成分、使用烤箱做飯等;還要學習飲食文化,如食品安全、食物鏈、飲食文化與宗教等 ;以及如何正確地擺放餐具、餐巾紙和杯子等。 在實務操作中,逐漸學習食物知識和飲食文化。 沒想到,做這件小事,竟成了芬蘭人培養學生創造力和想像的場地。

為了提供學生學習的真實環境,每所學校都設有「廚房教室」。 早上的第一、二節學生不是上學術理論課,卻先做菜。 課堂做的飯菜,就是做自己當天要吃的午餐,很有趣。

芬蘭學生從「廚房教室」學習家庭經濟課

第二項生活技能則是「做家事」。 家庭經濟學課可不只是教會小孩做家務,更是透過家務讓學生養成永續的生活習慣。 在這門課的薰陶下,孩子養成了及時清理廚具的習慣,會自己用洗碗機洗刷一家人的餐具,還知道怎樣手洗餐具最節約用水;也具備了環保意識,懂得珍惜食物、垃圾 分類;同時,也能讀懂衣服上面的洗滌說明,更有效的使用洗衣機。

第三項生活技能則是「做家庭理財」。 那項技能可謂用意深遠:透過這些深度參與的家務活動,讓孩子全面了解家庭消費的結構,如何用有限的錢,規劃、分配、安排家庭生活,讓孩子從小具有消費意識和理財能力,從而培養 孩子財商智慧。

原來芬蘭家長每個月都會給孩子「生活費」,有的家庭是每週分發。 如果他們照顧好弟弟妹妹,或主動在家做清潔,還能賺錢。

芬蘭學生從「廚房教室」學習家庭經濟課

例如一對父母有五個孩子。從孩子10歲以後,跟他們討論自己的工資,買食物需要多少錢,送弟弟妹妹去幼兒園需要多少錢,還能有多少錢用在興趣愛好上。 這樣孩子就能全面了解家庭消費的結構。

學校老師也會教導學生廣告如何影響自己購物,怎樣更好的利用網路做一個理性的消費者。 以免被廣告欺騙,買自己不需要的東西。

最後,學生作為家庭消費者,從國中開始認識一個家庭的收入、預算、支出,有利於引導學生正確運用金錢、有理財儲蓄的能力。 同時,如何用適當的錢購買既具有實用價值又有美感設計的物品才能讓生活可持續發展,真是一門相當實用的課程。

芬蘭學生能夠走「廚房教室」至家庭經濟課,讓他們親身體驗、去認識、去掌握烹飪、家務及家庭理財。 在學習過程中,他們充分獲得生活本能與自我管理能力,讓學生的生命能獲得全面發展。

這對香港的家長和學生有甚重要的啟示?

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低班「創意帽子屋」親子Catwalk Show —— 第二回

近日已到「立夏」,不少幼兒分享出外遊玩時也會戴上太陽帽.
剛好碰上低班幼兒進行有關帽子的主題—《創意帽子屋》。
在主題的最後一天,為了發揮幼兒創意和建立自信,本校早前在校內舉辦了低班「創意帽子」親子catwalk show.是次活動以親子形式進行,邀請家長到校園與幼兒一同進行活動,讓各位享受快樂的親子時光。活動中,幼兒戴上配合環保概念、與家長一同製作的帽子行catwalk,介紹屬於自己的帽子。

低班「創意帽子屋」親子Catwalk Show — 第一回

近日「立夏」,不少幼兒分享出外遊玩時也會戴上太陽帽。剛好碰上低班幼兒進行有關帽子的主題—《創意帽子屋》。
在主題的最後一天,為了發揮幼兒創意和建立自信,本校在校內舉辦了低班「創意帽子」親子catwalk show。
是次活動以親子形式進行,邀請家長到校園與幼兒一同進行活動,讓各位享受快樂的親子時光。
活動中,幼兒戴上配合環保概念
、親子形式製作的帽子行catwalk,介紹自己的帽子。 以下讓我們一同欣賞當日活動精彩的花絮吧!

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「校園齊惜福」計劃

本校參加由齊惜福舉辦的「校園齊惜福」計劃,經過兩堂的教導後,幼兒知道了種植植物的必要條件,種植蔬果時原來要先疏苗、再施肥,才能更有營養的成長。幼兒也學會了製造驅蟲、驅鳥的用具,如稻草人等等。此活動能夠推動綠色飲食文化,培養幼兒珍惜食物、減少浪費的美德。一起來看看幼兒努力栽種的過程與成果!

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不靠獎罰 讓孩子努力學習

家長錦囊

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撰文:GLP 全力愛創辦人兼義務總幹事林何佩儀

每個人都已經具備了內在動力,人早已擁有了把事情做好的願望。而這正是為什麼當我們給予孩子外在獎罰時,嘗試干擾孩子的行為時,他們的表現變得更糟糕,例如扼殺創造力、令判斷力下降等多種負面效果,這都是獎勵能換來的惡果。無論是物質還是心理上的獎勵,雖然都能短暫的刺激孩子的積極性,但卻無法讓孩子培養出長期的行為習慣,也無法讓他們的表現變得更好。

父母如何不單靠獎罰而讓孩子努力學習?原來只要懂滿足三種人類的基本心理需要,那麼孩子就可以自動自覺喜愛和投入學習。這三種人類的基本心理需要包括:自主、能力和關係。每個孩子也有發展能力的基本需要,要看到自己的能力有所提升,不要容讓那些無法理解的社會標準去改變自己的孩子。讓孩子學一些不合符成長階段的東西,是很危險的做法。我們要製造富挑戰性而又合適孩子能力的學習經驗,讓孩子感受到實在的成功感,提升他們對自己能力的信心,讓他們更有動力去學習。

Cute,Girl,Get,Test,With,Full,Score,On,Blank,Green

父母切勿以自己有限的智慧,來限制孩子將來無限的可能。父母若懂得培養孩子對學習的內在動機,讓他們認同學習的重要性,並以此為人生目標,孩子就會自動自覺投入學習。所以,父母讓自己和孩子提升為更負責、更敏銳,以及更懂得與人相處的人,就是在幫助孩子成長時自己獲得創造力和成功感。

如果這些理論能應用在孩子身上,是否也能應用在父母身上,從而為家庭帶來正面影響?答案是可以的。我們的要求孩子努力學習的同時,請父母們同樣努力改變自己的想法,誠如台灣搖滾樂隊同五月天的結他手石頭所說:「學校能教的,是知識,是技術;社會能教的,是相處,是合作;而孩子們在家學到的,是你們自己,是你們自己身為人的治國,當你們面對困難,面對挫折時解決的方式。」