各位家長：
東華三院聯校幼稚園之「童看世界—問答遊戲」校本準決賽，已於2025年3月18日（星期二）順利完成。當天活動氣氛既熱鬧又刺激，所有參與者均非常投入，享受每一刻的問答環節。更體現出「友誼第一，比賽第二」的精神，值得讚賞！
經統計評分後，上K3A 霍瀅善、上K2B 洪穎恆及上K1B楊稀堯為校本準決賽的勝出者，恭喜以上小朋友。他們將會代表本校參與2025年4月12日（星期六）本院聯校幼稚園之「童」看世界問答遊戲總決賽2025。有關詳情，稍後會個別通知相關家長，敬請留意。謝謝！東華三院徐展堂幼稚園謹啟
撰文：家庭動力兒童遊戲治療師
婚姻及家庭治療師李慧芝
在現今的社會，父母要保持良好的身心狀態，確實不容易。筆者曾經接觸過很多家長，發現大部分父母所面對的困難，並非不了解孩子的感受和需要，也並非不知道自己的行為如何影響孩子，而是難以在孩子出現狀況時，仍能保持對孩子的信任和樂觀的態度。很多時候，父母擔心孩子的問題會持續和惡化，因而變得愈加焦急，並重複以無效的方法處理孩子的問題。
那麼，父母該如何保持最佳的心理狀況，面對管教子女的壓力和挑戰呢？以下幾點可供父母參考：
1. 對自己的壓力指數更敏感
父母也是人，所以都會有情緒低落或身心疲憊的時候。父母對自己精神狀態敏感的目的，在於提醒自己，要先好好照顧自己的需要。因為當父母在高度壓力的狀態下，難以有效地敏感和回應孩子的需要。反之，不適當的回應有可能會傷害孩子及破壞親子關係。
2. 善用資源，紓緩壓力
當父母感到有壓力時，應該盡量發掘和善用自己內在和外在的資源，調節自己的負面情緒。例如找家人或朋友傾訴、做一些能令自己放鬆的事情、找一些正向的思想和信念鼓勵自己等。目的在於令自己得到適當的休息，暫時紓緩壓力。
3. 轉念，反思
假如父母的壓力持續及增加，便需要尋求專業的協助。有時候，這些壓力不止來自外在環境的影響。父母的自我價值、世界觀及對事物的看法，都會影響我們如何做父母。例如有些父母會擔心自己做得不夠好，未有盡到做父母的責任，結果不斷催促子女學習或參加活動，甚至當孩子出現壓力和負面情緒時，這些父母也無法有彈性地回應子女的需要。假如父母能意識及照顧到自己的感受和需要，便能避免自己的負面情緒影響至下一代。
因此，父母愛孩子，也得要先愛自己。只有父母健康快樂，孩子才能健康快樂地成長。
Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist
Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi
In today’s society, it is indeed not easy for parents to maintain a good state of mind and body. I have met with many parents and found that the difficulty most parents face is not that they do not understand their children’s feelings and needs, or that they do not know how their behavior affects their children, but that it is difficult to maintain a trusting and optimistic attitude towards their children when they are in a situation. Often, parents become increasingly anxious as they worry that their child’s problems will continue and worsen, and repeat ineffective ways of dealing with their child’s problems.
So, how can parents maintain the best mental state to face the stress and challenges of disciplining their children? Here are some tips for parents to consider:
1. Be more sensitive to your own stress levels
Parents are human beings, so there will be times when they are depressed or physically and emotionally exhausted. The purpose of parents being sensitive to their own mental state is to remind themselves that they need to take care of their own needs first. It is difficult for parents to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children when they are in a highly stressed state. Conversely, inappropriate responses may harm the child and damage the parent-child relationship.
2. Use resources effectively to relieve stress
When parents feel stressed, they should try to explore and make good use of their own internal and external resources to regulate their negative emotions. For example, find family members or friends to talk to, do things that can relax you, and find positive thoughts and beliefs to encourage you. The purpose is to give yourself a proper rest and temporary relief from stress.
If a parent’s stress continues and increases, professional help is needed. Sometimes, these pressures come from more than just external influences. Parents’ self-worth, worldview, and perceptions of things can affect how we parent. For example, some parents worry that they are not doing enough to fulfill their parental responsibilities and end up pushing their children to study or participate in activities, or even that they are not flexible enough to respond to their children’s needs when they are stressed and negative. If
parents are aware of and take care of their own feelings and needs, they can prevent their negative emotions from affecting the next generation.
Therefore, parents who love their children must first love themselves. Only when parents are healthy and happy can their children grow up healthy and happy.
Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist
Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi
Growing up, we are seldom taught to express our emotions verbally. Schools and society focus on nurturing children’s cognitive, analytical, and problem-solving skills, so we are used to discussing things and opinions, and rarely express our emotions directly in words. Even when families communicate and talk to each other, we are not used to sharing our feelings.
Some parents may ask, “Isn’t it enough for me to express my care for my child through actions (such as hugging or kissing him/her)? Is it necessary for parents to verbally affirm and respond to their children’s feelings and needs?
While it is important for parents to express their love for their children through actions, it is also important for parents to respond empathetically to their children so that they can understand and accept their thoughts and feelings in a more concrete and tangible way. This not only strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds the child’s sense of security, but the child also learns how to verbally express his or her feelings and needs, which helps reduce the need for the child to express his or her inner turmoil through bad behavior.
In fact, the language of emotion is not the language we are used to. Many parents are concerned that affirming and empathizing with their children’s negative emotions may condone and exacerbate their children’s bad behavior. For example, when a child feels sad about the loss of a beloved object, parents are afraid that rehashing the incident will touch on the child’s sad feelings. Parents may say to their children, “It’s okay, just play with something else! or “Try to see if you can buy another one instead. Parents want to calm their children by solving their problems.
However, not only do children fail to learn from their parents’ responses how to access and understand their own feelings and effectively regulate their negative emotions, they also have no opportunity to learn from their failures and develop a sense of responsibility.
If parents can put themselves in their children’s shoes, understand their experiences from their children’s perspective, and try to tell them how they feel, even if it is as simple as “I think you must be very sad and upset about losing your beloved object. This is the most powerful support and comfort for children, giving them the confidence and courage to face the challenges of life.
撰文：家庭動力兒童遊戲治療師
婚姻及家庭治療師 李慧芝
在我們的成長經驗中，我們都甚少被教育用語言表達自己的情緒。學校和社會均著重培育兒童的認知、分析和解難能力等，所以我們大多習慣討論事情和觀點，很少直接用說話來表達情感。即使家人之間的交流和對話，我們也不習慣分享彼此內心的感受。
有家長會問，我以行動（例如擁抱、親吻孩子）來表達對孩子的關懷，不已經足夠了嗎？父母有必要用言語肯定和回應孩子的感受及需要嗎？
父母以行動表達對孩子的愛當然重要，但父母對子女的同理回應，能夠更具體和切實地讓孩子體會到，父母是明白和接納他們的想法和感受。這不但能強化親子關係，建立孩子的安全感，子女亦能從中學習如何以語言表達情感和需要，有助減少孩子以不良行為表達內心困擾。
事實上，情感的語言的確不是我們日常習慣的語言，很多父母都擔心，假如肯定和同理回應孩子的負面情緒，可能會縱容和加劇孩子的不良行為。例如當孩子因失去心愛物件而感到傷心時，父母都會害怕重提事件，會觸及孩子傷心的感受。父母或許會對孩子說：「不要緊，玩別的便是了！」、「試試看能否買另一個代替吧。」父母都希望透過解決孩子的問題，安撫他們的情緒。
然而，這樣孩子不但無法從父母的回應中，學習如何接觸和了解自己的感受，並有效調節自己負面的情緒，更沒有機會從挫敗中汲取經驗，建立責任感。
假如父母可以設身處地，從孩子的角度了解他們的經驗，並嘗試說出他們的感受，即使簡單一句「我想，你失去了你最心愛的物件，你一定很傷心、難過。」這對於孩子而言，已經給予他們最有力的支持和安慰，使他們更有信心和勇氣地面對生活的挑戰。
Written by : Doctor Hui Lung Kit
Child Psychiatry’s primary concern is to determine whether a child’s behavior is normal or abnormal, and whether it is normal or abnormal should be judged according to the rules of Child Developmental Psychology. But in reality, do parents have to get a bunch of books on child development and look at the textbooks to observe their children? This is a time-consuming and costly process. One of the simpler ways is to ask your child’s class teacher.
Have you ever heard of children moving up a grade every year, like going from Grade 1 to Grade 2, Grade 3 to Grade 4? But have you ever heard of teachers moving up a grade? Generally speaking, many teachers spend months and years teaching students at the same grade level. More experienced teachers may even spend over ten years teaching children of the same age. As a result, they may have interacted with hundreds of students of the same age over time.
Developmental assessments for children place significant emphasis on comparing them with their peers of the same age. By using a large sample size of data and employing statistical methods, a reference definition of normal and abnormal can be established. An experienced teacher, with ample teaching experience, already encompasses a substantial sample size within her own teaching practice. Based on this, she can determine what is considered normal and abnormal.
For example, let’s say in September this year, a class teacher is faced with a new class of 30 students in Grade 1. When assessing each individual student, the teacher unconsciously compares the current students with the same-age students they have taught in the past. If, through this comparison, the teacher senses something “off” or “peculiar” about a student, this feeling actually holds statistical significance! However, teachers themselves may not be aware of it.
Many parents have a significant lack of trust in schools and teachers. I have also observed some common blind spots in the evaluation process of schools and teachers (such as generally having more lenient behavioral standards for academically successful students). However, it is important to remember that parents only interact with their own 1 or 2 children on a daily basis, while schools and teachers deal with hundreds of students. When determining whether a child’s emotions and behaviors are normal or abnormal, the opinions of schools and teachers undoubtedly hold valuable reference points.
撰文：許龍杰醫生
兒童精神病學 (Child Psychiatry) 首要處理的課題，是要分辨小朋友的行為是正常還是失常，而正常與否，就應跟據兒童發展心理學 (Child Developmental Psychology) 的規律作判斷。但在現實情況下，難道家長要找來一大堆兒童發展的專書，對著教科書來觀察孩子嗎？這實在費時失事。而其中一個較為簡單的方法是：問一問孩子的學校班主任。
大家有聽過小朋友會年年升班，小一升小二、小三升小四，但有聽過老師會升班的嗎？一般而言，很多老師都會經年累月教授同一級別的學生，年資長一點的老師，更可能十多年都對著相同歲數的小朋友。如此累積下來，接觸同一歲數的學生可能數以百計。
兒童的發展評估首重同齡兒童之間的比較，把大量的數據樣本以統計學的方法，釐定正常與不正常的參考定義。一位資歷豐富的老師，她本身的教學經驗裡已包含了相當大的樣本數量 (sample size)，可以據之判斷何謂正常和不正常。
很多家長都對學校和老師有很大的不信任。筆者也觀察到，學校和老師有一些常見的評估盲點（例如普遍對成績好的同學的行為標準較寛鬆）。但要記著，家長每天對著的，只是自己那 1、2 個子女，但學校和老師，對著的可是上百個學生。要分辨小朋友的情緒和行為是正常還是不正常，學校和老師的意見，絕對有參考價值。
Written by: Marriage and Family Therapist, Child Play Therapist, Lee Wai Zi
The arrival of a child often brings significant changes to a family. Many times, parents become so busy taking care of and educating their children that they inadvertently neglect the quality of their marital life. Over time, their relationship may become reduced to a series of responsibilities and pressures. I once heard a friend say that every day after work, he would mechanically check his children’s homework and supervise their studying, while his wife took care of their meals and routines. By the time they could finally rest, it was often late at night, and even if they had some energy left to talk, their conversations revolved solely around their children’s academic performance. Sometimes, they didn’t even have enough time to rest themselves, let alone care for or respond to each other’s needs.
In my counseling experience, I have encountered many couples facing difficulties in their marriage, and they all agree that their relationship began to suffer after the birth of their child. Most people would think this is due to differing expectations and educational methods regarding their children, or an unequal distribution of roles and responsibilities in parenting, leading to conflicts.
However, the vast majority of couples express that they do not necessarily need their partner to agree with their thoughts or actions. The crux of the issue lies in the fact that when they confront parenting and various life pressures, they often feel a lack of recognition, support, and acceptance from their spouse, leading both parties to feel isolated and helpless. This gradually undermines the trust and emotional connection between them.
It is perfectly normal for couples to have different educational philosophies and methods. Yet, during the parenting process, parents often resort to ineffective and destructive methods to handle their differences, unintentionally creating a negative cycle of interaction. For example, a wife might complain about their child’s disobedience in front of her husband, or express dissatisfaction that he is not helping with household chores and parenting responsibilities. The wife’s intention in expressing her frustrations is to make her husband understand her worries and concerns, and to gain his support and comfort.
However, the husband usually only perceives his wife’s complaints and criticisms. To protect himself from emotional harm, he may remain silent or repeatedly explain and defend himself, hoping for his wife’s understanding and acceptance. The more the husband explains, the more the wife feels unvalued and misunderstood, leading her to escalate her accusations. The more she accuses, the more helpless the husband feels, prompting him to avoid the situation and defend himself even more. Both partners become victims within this negative cycle of interaction. If parents do not promptly confront and resolve the deadlock in their relationship, it will not only prolong and exacerbate the issues, but it may ultimately harm their children.
The health of a family and its children is built upon a strong emotional connection between the couple. Therefore, for the sake of themselves and their children, parents should consider spending more time nurturing the love between them. A happy marriage will naturally allow children to grow up healthy and joyful.
撰文：婚姻及家庭治療師
兒童遊戲治療師 李慧芝
每當有孩子出世，都會為家庭帶來轉變。很多時候，父母因忙於照顧及管教子女，都會容易忽略自己婚姻生活的質素，久而久之，夫妻生活變得只剩下一堆責任和壓力。筆者曾經聽過一位朋友說，他每天下班回家，都是流水作業式地替子女檢查功課，督導孩子溫習，太太則照顧他們的飲食和作息，到了夫婦倆可以休息的時候，往往已是夜深，即使還有餘力和太太談上幾句，說的都只是子女的學業成績和表現。有時甚至連自己休息的時間尚且不夠，更莫說要關心和回應配偶的需要。
在筆者的輔導經驗中，曾經遇過很多婚姻關係出現困難的夫婦，他們都不約而同地認為他們關係出現問題，是由子女出世後開始。一般人會認為，這是因為父母對子女的期望和教育方法不同，又或在培育子女的角色和責任上分配不均，而導致關係的衝突。
然而，絕大多數的夫婦卻表示，他們不一定要對方認同自己的想法或做法，問題的關鍵在於當他們面對育兒及各種生活壓力時，往往因為感受不到配偶的重視、支持和接納，以致雙方都陷入孤單和無助的境況，漸漸地破壞彼此間的信任和情感連結。
夫妻間有不同的教育理念和方法，本是很平常和自然的事。但在育兒的過程中，父母容易重複以無效和具破壞性的方法，處理彼此的分歧，令關係不知不覺地形成負向互動循環。例如妻子會在丈夫面前抱怨孩子不聽話，甚至埋怨丈夫沒有幫忙分擔家事和育兒的責任，太太表達不滿的目的是希望丈夫明白自己的憂慮和困擾，並得到丈夫的支持和安慰。
然而，丈夫往往只能接收到太太的批評和指責，而為了保護自己免受傷害，他們或許會默不作聲，或是多番解釋和替自己辯護，期望得到太太的體諒和接納。丈夫愈解釋，太太就愈感到不被重視和明白，因而愈加指責。而太太愈指責，又會令丈夫愈感到無助，並愈加逃避和防衛。夫婦倆既是這負向互動循環中的一員，又是互動循環下的受害者。假如父母沒有及時正視和處理關係的僵局，不但會令問題持續和惡化，最終也可能會苦了孩子。
家庭和孩子的健康，建基於夫婦倆穩固的情感連結。因此，為了自己和孩子，不妨花多點時間孕育與伴侶間的愛情。只要父母婚姻美滿，孩子自然能健康快樂地成長。
Dear Parents/Guardians,
Learning goes beyond just sitting in a classroom; it can also be active! Tung Wah Group of Hospitals Kindergarten has a climbing wall that encourages children to participate in physical activities, helping them develop their large muscles and improve their coordination.
Engaging in sports can also inspire children’s development! At our kindergarten, children regularly take part in various physical activities, which not only promote a healthy lifestyle but also foster a love for sports, possibly leading to future athletic achievements.
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TWGHs Tsui Tsin Tong Kindergarten