Author: system

How can parents help young children adapt to primary school life both psychologically and physically?

Post author By system
Post date 15/05/2023
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Parenting Tips

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Source: Professor Chiu Wing Kai, Chair Professor of Sociology at the Education University of Hong Kong.

It’s already been 3 months into 2023 and summer vacation will be coming soon, followed by the start of the new school year in September. For K3 students to start their primary school life. However, these students have spent most of their 3-year kindergarten education in online classes due to the pandemic, with little face-to-face interaction. How can parents help them adapt to their new academic and social life in terms of their psychological and physical well-being?

Students who are promoted to Primary 1 are at most at K2 level because they have not returned to school for at least one full year. There are many things they need to adapt to when transitioning from kindergarten to primary school. These include school schedules, daily routines, and learning styles that are vastly different from what they are used to. Kindergarten classes typically last for around 20 minutes, after which they move on to another subject, but in primary school, classes can be 35 minutes or longer, making it difficult for them to maintain their focus. All of these issues can create significant adaptation problems for young students.

So how can parents explain these changes to their children? Firstly, parents should not be too anxious, as many primary schools offer simulation courses and adaptation weeks for new students, as well as school visits. Primary schools are usually much larger than kindergartens, and young students may be excited about the various facilities and opportunities available to them. However, it is best to start talking to them once they begin school, as too much information too soon may be overwhelming. Simply telling them, “Yes, this is what school is like” is often enough.

Additionally, some things that young students may not be capable of now do not mean they cannot accomplish them, they just need time to grow and develop. Parents need to remember that every child has a different growth rate. After starting school, observe their emotional changes when they return home from school, and if you notice any issues, pay close attention to them

It takes time for young children to adapt, but sometimes parents also need to adapt. In kindergarten, we refer to it as the Homeroom(regular class location), where one teacher leads the class, and children usually only see one or two teachers. If parents need to participate or collaborate with the school, they can simply find that teacher. In primary school, each subject has different teachers, so if any issues arise, parents need to consider how to communicate with each teacher.

家長如何幫助幼童在心理同生理上適應小學生活？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：香港教育大學社會學講座教授趙永佳教授

2023年已過了3個多月，暑假很快又會到，然後又到9月開學日。這意味著一班K3同學

準備迎接小學生活，但這班同學過去3年幼稚園生涯，大多都在疫情下的網課經過，甚少面授課程，又少機會與人接觸。家長可以如何幫助他們在心理和生理上適應升小生活？

升小一的同學最多只是等於K2程度，因為他們最少有一整年沒有回學校上課，而從幼稚園到小學，本來就已經有很多東西要適應，例如上學時間、在學校裡一些生活上的細節，甚至整個周期和學習模式都不同了。幼稚園一節課大約20分鐘左右，然後已經要轉另一節課，但是在小學可能是35分鐘或以上，很難維持集中力，所有這些問題，都會對小朋友造成很大的適應問題。

如何跟小朋友說明幼小交接的變化才是最好呢？首先家長不要太緊張，有很多小學會舉辦模擬課程，會有適應週，亦可參觀學校。小學比幼稚園大，小朋友可能會感到很高興，因為有很多不同的設備，他可能會有很多期待。但是我覺得有些事情要先開始才知道，太早和他說太多也沒有用，只能告訴他：「對，學校就是這樣。」

另外，有些事情小朋友現在還未能做到，並不代表他做不到，要待他長大。家長很多時候都是這樣，有些事情是沒有辦法，不能勉強的，而是要等待小朋友成長到那個階段才能做到，要記住每個小朋友的成長速度都不同。剛開學後他們放學回來，可觀察他情感的轉變，如果看到他有這些情況就要注意了。

小朋友的適應是需要時間的，但有時家長也要適應。在幼稚園我們稱為Homeroom（固定上課地點），由一名老師帶領，所以小朋友只會經常看到一兩位老師。如果在家長參與或家校協作時，很簡單只要找回那位老師便可。在小學，每個科目都有不同的老師，所以有時候出現狀況時，我們就要思考怎樣和老師溝通。

Parents Zone

How do you teach children correct pronunciation?

Post author By system
Post date 08/05/2023
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Parenting Tips

system

Source: Speech therapist, Miss Carley

When children learn a language, pronunciation is also an important aspect. There are many pronunciations in English that are not found in Cantonese and are difficult for both children and adults to master. How can parents teach children to pronounce English correctly? What are some tips to use?

The English tongue’s sounds can be difficult for children and even adults to master. We can try to use different cueing techniques to teach children to pronounce the sounds correctly. For example, parents can use visual cues, such as looking in the mirror with the child and showing him the tip of his tongue, placed between the two rows of teeth.

In addition, parents can also use verbal cues to clearly tell the child, “Put your tongue in the middle of your two rows of teeth,” so that they know what to do. When necessary, parents can also provide tactile cues, such as using a popsicle stick or spoon to touch the tongue and showing them where to place it for different sounds.

Parents can also try playing simple games with their children to train their listening skills, such as whether they can distinguish between right and wrong in terms of hearing. For example, intentionally mispronouncing a word: “Is ‘fank you’ correct? No, it’s not.” “Is ‘thank you’ correct? Yes, it is.”

This time we have to bite our teeth on the tongue or write the words “free” and “three” on a piece of paper, and then the parent reads out one of the words “three” “You show me which one” and reads “free”, “You show me which one”. If he knows how to distinguish, it will be clearer and easier for him to express himself.

如何教小朋友正確發音？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：言語治療師Miss Carley

小朋友學習語言，發音也是重要一環。英文的很多發音是廣東話裡沒有的，不論對小朋友或大人，都是較難掌握。家長可以如何教導小朋友正確發音呢？有甚麼小法寶可以使用？

英語裡的咬舌音對於小朋友甚至大人來說，也是比較難掌握的。我們可以嘗試運用不同的提示技巧，教導小朋友正確的發音。用這發音作例子，其實家長可以嘗試用一些視覺的提示，譬如可以和小朋友一起望著鏡子，讓他看見自己的舌頭，放置於兩排牙齒的中間。

另外，家長也可以用口頭提示，我們要明確向小朋友說：「你的舌頭要放在兩排牙齒中間。」讓他知道要怎樣做。有必要的時候，家長可以加上所謂觸覺的提示。譬如用雪條棒或用匙羹這樣碰著舌頭，要放在兩排牙齒中間，讓他知道不同的發音部位，舌頭要如何放置。

家長也可以嘗試和小朋友玩些簡單遊戲，來訓練他們的聽辨能力，就是小朋友在聽覺方面能否辨認得到對或不對，譬如家長故意讀錯字：「fank you對不對？不對」「thank you對不對？對了」這次我們牙齒要咬著舌頭，又或在紙寫上free和three這兩個字，然後家長讀出其中一個three 「你指給我看是哪一個」；Free「你又指給我看是哪一個」。如果他懂得分辨，在表達上來就更加清楚和容易。

How do parents show love to their children?

Post author By system
Post date 10/04/2023
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Parenting Tips

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Source: Parenting Education Specialist, Ken Sir

Parents may worry that expressing too much love to their children will spoil them and therefore do not know how to express love to them. Generally speaking, Chinese are more introverted and often dare not express their love. Especially when you originally wanted to express that you were very worried about your child, it often turns into another attitude.

Once, I saw a mother and her child get lost in Shatin and then reunite. What was the mother’s behavior like after the reunion? She grabbed the child’s hand and hit him while saying, “I couldn’t find you earlier; do you know how scared I was? I was so worried. What would I do if I didn’t find you?”

In fact, everyone knows that the mother loves her child, but the child doesn’t feel it. I often share an example during lectures to express love. When I was young, my father ordered a drink, but because money was tight, he asked the waiter to bring an extra cup after ordering one hot drink. He kept pouring the drink back and forth in front of me, trying to cool it down quickly so that the child wouldn’t burn his mouth and could drink it faster. But I found that when children ask their parents or when I asked many students’ parents, they would answer, “This will make it cool faster.”

When responding to children, parents should express their feelings at the deepest level: “I love you; why would I do this if I didn’t love you? Am I doing it for someone else? For another child? So in fact, there are many things in our lives that can express love, but there is one thing that must be remembered. If you are afraid of being overindulgent, remember the following two points:

First, if the child can do something, let them do it. You should not fight to do it. Second, when the child makes a mistake, we should correct them. In the process of correction, try to be gentle and firm. When seriousness is needed, be serious. But remind the child to say the solution, not just say no or that it’s wrong. Otherwise, the child will not progress.

父母如何向小朋友表達愛？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：親職教育專家Ken Sir

父母可能會擔心對孩子表達過多的愛，會造成溺愛，因而不懂如何對孩子表達愛。一般而言，中國人較為內斂，對愛的表現很多時候都不敢說出來。尤其當你本來想表達你很緊張他，但往往變成另一種態度。

有次我在沙田見到一個媽媽和她的小朋友走失了，然後再重聚，重聚後媽媽的表現是怎樣呢？就是捉著他的手打他，一邊打一邊説：「我剛剛見不到你，你知不知道我很害怕。我很擔心你，見不到你怎麽辦呀？」

其實大家都知道媽媽是愛他的，但小朋友就感受不到。我經常在講座分享一個例子去表達愛，就是在我小時候爸爸叫了一杯飲料，因為當時錢不多，當叫完一杯熱飲後就問侍應多拿一個杯子。在我面前不停把飲料倒來倒去，想盡快把飲料弄涼，讓小朋友喝的時候不會燙傷嘴巴，而且可以快點喝得到，但我發現如果當小朋友問父母的時候或我問過很多學生的父母，他們都是會答：「這樣會快點變涼。」

家長在回應小朋友時應該表達最深的層次，就是因為我愛你，我不愛你我怎麽會做這事情呢？難道我為旁邊那個做？為旁邊的小朋友做嗎？所以其實我們在生活上很多事情可以表達愛，但有一種事一定要記住，如果你害怕造成溺愛，一定要切記以下兩點。

第一點小朋友可以做到的事，應該要讓他做，你不應該爭著做。第二點就是小朋友犯錯，我們要指正他。在指正的過程中，盡量用到溫柔而堅定，需要嚴肅的時候要嚴肅。但要提醒小朋友記著要説上解決方法，而不是只說NO，只說不對。這樣的話，小朋友是不會進步的。

What should I do when confronted with dishonesty in children？

Post author By system
Post date 03/04/2023
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Parenting Tips

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Written by: Family Dynamics Psychological Counselor, Lai Shun Mei

Every time a child does homework, he or she falsely claims to have a stomachache, to go to the bathroom, or to go to sleep. Thousands of lies and excuses. Parents who value character development are naturally outraged because they have zero tolerance for dishonesty in their children. But why do children always avoid doing their homework? Why do they have to lie to cover it up?

Often, children avoid doing homework not because they don’t want to, but because they can’t. Children want to be good and smart, but when they find out they can’t do their homework, they think they are not smart enough. They can’t accept this and will lie to cover it up and avoid it. Generally speaking, children with normal intelligence but learning disabilities will have their academic performance affected to some degree, but they can excel in other areas as well. And regardless of their intelligence level, as long as they use the right approach, coupled with the right amount of training, they can also build the corresponding ability.

But why do people lie? When a person feels that he or she is in an uncomfortable situation, he or she will activate the defense mechanism to protect himself or herself. Lying is one of the ways to cope with a crisis by avoiding it. If parents want to help their children, they should allow them to tell the truth so that they can understand what their children really don’t understand.

How do you instill in children the courage to speak the truth? You have to let your child know that even if he is not smart enough, you will still love him so much, take him as your joy, be patient with him, and find ways to help him solve his problems together, thus building up his sense of security and making him feel at ease to reveal his inner uncertainties and difficulties. On the contrary, if his experience makes him think that he is not smart enough, which will lead to his mother’s anger and complaints, he will not dare to tell the truth and even activate his self-protection mechanism to protect himself with lies that adults can uncover at first glance.

At this point, the child will not only fail to protect himself but will also get into more trouble because the mother will be rehabilitated and will take the initiative to admit her mistake and promise not to lie again. But in fact, his homework difficulties are not resolved, creating a vicious cycle. Therefore, we encourage parents to learn to accept their children’s shortcomings so that they will have confidence in you and feel safe to open up to you.

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面對小朋友不誠實的行為時該怎麼處理？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：家庭動力心理輔導員賴舜薇

小朋友每次做功課，都訛稱自己肚痛、要上洗手間或想睡覺，千萬種謊言與藉口。重視品格培養的家長自然會感到嬲怒，因為他們對子女不誠實的行為都是零容忍的。但為甚麼孩子總是逃避做功課？為甚麼他們又要以謊言去掩飾呢？

小朋友逃避做功課，很多時不是他們不願意做，而是做不到。小朋友都會希望自己又乖巧又聰明，但當他們發現自己做不到功課，便會認為自己不夠聰明。他無法接受，便會以說謊來掩飾和逃避。一般而言，智力正常但有學習障礙的小朋友，他們的學業表現都會受到一定程度的影響，但在其他方面，他們一樣可以表現出色。而且不論他們智力水平高低，只要使用對的方法，加上適量訓練，他們亦能建立相應能力。

但人為甚麼會說謊呢？當一個人覺得自己處於不安的環境時，便會啟動防衛機制保護自己。而說謊便是其中一種以逃避方式來應對危機的表現。如果家長希望幫到子女，便要讓他勇於說真話，這樣家長才能理解子女真正不明白的地方。

如何令子女勇於說真說話？你要讓子女知道，即使他不夠聰明，你依然會這麼愛她，以他為喜樂，對他有耐性，並且會一起想辦法協助他解決困難，從而建立他的安全感，讓他安心透露內心的不明白與困難。但相反，若其經驗令他認為因他不夠聰明，會引來媽媽對他發脾氣及埋怨，他便不敢說真話，甚至啟動自我保護機制，用大人一看便能拆穿的謊言保護自己。

這時候孩子不但無法保護自己，更會惹來更大的麻煩，因為媽媽會更生氣，便會主動認錯，又會承諾不再說謊。惟事實上，他功課的困難並未解決，形成造成惡性循環。因此，我們鼓勵家長學習接納子女的不足，令子女對你有信心，覺得安全，自然對你敞開心扉。

Does the child cry non-stop when they are a little dissatisfied?

Post author By system
Post date 13/03/2023
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Parenting Tips

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Source：Family Dynamic, Psychotherapist, Lai Shun Mei

Sometimes, children may cry when they are slightly dissatisfied, and parents may have tried different methods to comfort their children, but the children still cry from time to time. This may make parents feel tired, helpless, and even annoyed. In fact, children’s crying is usually a way of expressing their emotions. Because their language is not yet developed enough to convey a complete story, their own feelings, and some thoughts, they will use the most direct or fastest way to seek help when they are unhappy, which is to cry, just like when they were infants.

Let’s not assume that just because children can walk, talk, and go to school, we need to talk to them more about reasoning. In fact, in the preschool years, parents should provide more emotional support to their children. Maslow, a well-known psychologist, came up with the five-level theory of human needs. The levels are physiological, safety, social, esteem, and self-actualization. As children’s cognitive development matures, they have already reached the third level of social needs, which is love and a sense of belonging.

At this time, they need to feel the care and love from people around them, and they begin to recognize their own emotions. Therefore, if parents can help them express their emotions and thoughts, not only will their language skills improve, but their social needs will also be met.

When we see a child crying, we as parents can say something like this to them: “You seem very unhappy; maybe you don’t like it when mommy talks to you in a harsh tone.” “Your little brother took your toy without asking, which made you angry.” If you can speak accurately to the child’s feelings, they will quickly nod and stop crying. Over time, they will learn to use other means to express themselves instead of crying.

Some parents may wonder why their usually talkative kids can’t say what they’re feeling when they’re sad. This is because emotions can affect rational thinking. If I asked you to give a speech on stage right now, how would you feel? You may feel nervous or even a little scared, and if I don’t give you time to prepare, you may not be able to say a word. You can see that emotions can affect adults, let alone children.

So, as parents, we should first calm down and then carefully watch and try to figure out why our kids are crying. Then, put yourself in their shoes and express your thoughts and emotions. This way, the child will not cry anymore.

小朋友有少少不滿就哭泣不停？

家長錦囊

system

資料來源：家庭動力心理輔導員賴舜薇

小朋友有時候可能因為少少不滿，就會哭起來，家長可能已經用了很多不同的方法來安慰自己的小朋友，但他還是時不時便哭起來。這樣爸爸媽媽可能已經覺得很累，有一點無助和不知道怎麼辦，甚至覺得有一點煩擾。其實通常來說小朋友的哭泣，是一種情緒的表達。因為他們的語言未可以豐富到講一件完整的事情、他自己的感受和一些的想法，所以他們在不開心的時候就會沿用他們嬰兒時期，最直接或者最快會得到救助的一種方式來表達，就是哭泣。

我們不要以為他們懂得行、懂得走和上了學，我們就需要和他講多一些道理。其實相反在幼兒期的小朋友，家長應該和他們做多一些情感支援。著名的心理學家馬斯洛提出，人類需求的五層次理論，分別是生理需求、安全需求、社會需求、尊重需求和自我實現需求。隨著小朋友的心智成熟，他們已經去到第三層的社會需求，亦即是愛和歸屬感。

在這個時候他是需要感受，身邊的人對他的關愛，並且他開始認識自己的情緒。所以在這一個階段如果父母可以協助他，幫他們能說一些情緒和想法。不但他們的語言表達能力可以提升，他們的社會需求亦會得到滿足。

看到小朋友哭泣的時候，我們家長可以這樣跟他說：「你很不開心似的，原來你不喜歡媽媽這麼惡跟你說話。「弟弟沒有問過你便拿了你的玩具玩，令你生氣。」如果你說中小朋友的心聲，其實很快會點一下頭和很快不會再哭起來，慢慢他們學識了這種表達方式，他們便不需要用哭泣來表達自己。

有一些家長可能便會問：「平日小朋友牙尖嘴利很會說話，但為何有些不開心，他們便說不出來？」其實這是情緒，對人理性思維的影響。假如我邀請你上台做一個演說，你現在是甚麼感覺？你可能會緊張甚至有一點害怕，如果我不給予時間你作準備，這樣可能你連一句說話也說不出。這樣你會看見大人都會受情緒的影響，更何況是小朋友。

所以在小朋友不開心的時候，我們作為家長首先放平和自己的心情，然後耐心觀察和分析他們哭泣的原因。再嘗試站在他們的立場，說出他們的想法和情緒，這樣小朋友便不會再哭泣。