Parenting Tips

No matter how rich, do not spoil the child.

Written by: Johnny Kwan, Curriculum Director of the International Gifted and Talented Development Education Institute

The family is the first environment a child comes into contact with after birth and is the earliest influencer of a child’s personality. The personality traits, parenting concepts, and methods of each parent play a decisive role in the healthy growth of their children. How can parents help children understand the relationship between money and their own growth?

The West advocates “No matter how rich, do not spoil the child”

In this regard, the approach of Western parents is quite worth learning from for Chinese parents. It is fundamentally different from the Chinese parenting philosophy of “No matter how poor, do not deprive the child,” as Westerners advocate “No matter how rich, do not spoil the child.” They have long realized that allowing children to have an innate sense of financial superiority is harmful to their growth and brings no benefits. Even in very wealthy families, parents usually give their children very little pocket money and encourage them to work for their own money. This helps children understand that obtaining money is not easy and that valuable wealth must be accumulated through one’s efforts. This process teaches children something far more valuable than wealth itself. Of course, I am not encouraging children to give up their studies to work, but rather to understand from a young age the basic concept that labor can create wealth.


Case Sharing: Son Sells Small Crafts to Help Support the Family

Two years ago, I heard a true story from mainland China. Zhi Man’s parents were ordinary workers who, like other parents, hoped their child would succeed, attend university, and thus worked overtime every day. Unexpectedly, when Zhi Man was ten, his father had an industrial accident while working a night shift, resulting in blindness in his left eye and a broken left leg, rendering him unable to work again. Consequently, his mother fell ill. At that time, Zhi Man realized that he was the only one who could fully take on the family’s responsibilities. He resolutely borrowed 50 yuan from a classmate and went to the wholesale market after school to sell small crafts. What was usually taken for granted became incredibly difficult when it was his turn. From having no business on the first day to earning 80 yuan a month later. He spent 35 yuan on a cane for his father and 23 yuan on a book he had longed for, which he couldn’t put down. Seeing this, his father’s lips trembled non-stop, and tears flowed from his eyes. Since then, he has supported himself through his studies, earned respect through his own labor, and made his father proud. Teachers and classmates admired him, and eventually, he became a well-known doctor in the area!

Not Relying on Material Wealth, Creating Wealth with One’s Own Hands

Most children today are only children and have been spoiled by their parents. For them to grow up healthy, we should cultivate their ability to adapt to various environments and the spirit of hard work from a young age. We should not overly indulge them materially but let them understand that wealth created with their own hands is truly their own!

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